Everyone put their hands together, ladies and gentlemen, Brian Posse!
Whee-hee!
Holy *!
Portland, how are you?
Holy *, this is gonna be fun.
I love this place.
It's one of my favorite places.
Thank you, I love you, brother.
That's why I love this place, that * dude.
I love Portland.
It's one of my favorite places in the world.
That's why I'm here tonight.
And just so you don't think I do this everywhere I go,
that I open by pandering to whatever nice people
happen to be sitting in front of me.
At that second, I was in Fairbanks, Alaska last winter.
Yeah, and at no point during that show was I like,
hey, you guys, it's * awesome to be here.
Not once in an entire hour did I do that,
because it wasn't awesome.
It's * Fairbanks.
And the people that live in Fairbanks would call bullshit
because they live there.
It's not awesome, dick.
We're * trapped.
Parents came up in 89,
and we haven't been able to get out of here.
Here's the thing.
So I flew in to Fairbanks,
and I had checked the weather before I left L.A.,
and it was * 40 below the day before I went there,
which is bullshit, right?
* that.
The day I got there that I flew in, it was 15 below.
And every idiot I met had to go,
yesterday it was 40 below, today it's 15 below.
Sure warmed up for you.
And I was like, * you.
You're not supposed to * live here, man.
* no one is.
It's almost the North Pole.
You know who's supposed to live up here?
A dude we made up.
* move.
What's wrong with you?