We've had retarded presidents before.
And it's been okay.
I mean, music always gets good when you have a retarded president.
Like, a lot of good punk rock and heavy metal
when retards are in the office.
Historically.
And here's the thing.
My mom worked with developmentally disabled people.
And I was a kid, and I was surrounded.
I was always around them, and I loved them.
And one time, there was a Halloween fair
at the hospital where my mom worked.
And all the patients, or she called them clients,
really PC, and they were all dressed up.
And there was all types, different levels.
And there was this guy named Benny that was high-functioning.
But he was, like, my size.
*, and just, he sounded like John Wayne,
just really super swing-blady.
And, yeah, he carried a shoe.
He had a shoe shine box around the * hospital, I swear.
And he was huge, and just massive, and just chimp strength.
You know, like a lot of those.
Yeah.
Here's what happened.
I was a jackass kid, but my friend Jason was a bigger jackass than me.
My friend Jason, at the Halloween festival,
threw a * water balloon at Benny.
And Benny just went,
bug, *, ape *, just,
and just * ran at Jason.
Jason couldn't get away.
And I was just like,
oh, my * God.
I was just backing away.
It took five adults to get Benny off of Jason.
And he didn't punch Jason,
but he just scared the * out of Jason.
And just,
um,
Trump is Benny, you guys.
He's a * dangerous retard.
I hope when this special airs,
we didn't elect him.
Because if Trump dangerous retard president,
I'm going to wind up in the faggot camps with all you guys.
I * love you, man.
Thanks so much, Portland.
You were * awesome.
Thank you.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.