I know a fattled policeman, he's always cross street
A fattled, jolly, red-faced man, he really is street
He's too fine for a policeman, he's never known to frown
And everybody says he's the happiest man in town
He laughs upon his duty, he laughs upon his beat
He laughs at everybody when he's walking down the street
He never can stop laughing, he says he's never tried
But once he did erase the man, he laughed until he cried
Oh, his dolly face had wrinkled, and then he shut his eyes
He opened his great mouth, it was a wondrous size
He said, I must arrest you
I didn't know what for, and then he started laughing
Until he cracked his jaw
So if you chance to meet him
While walking around the town
Just shake him by his fattled hand
And give him half a crown
His eyes will gleam and sparkle
He'll gurgle with delight
And then you'll start him laughing
With all his blessed might
Baby, baby