I know a fat old policeman, he's always on our street
A fat and jolly red-faced man, he really is a treat
He's too kind for a policeman, he's never known to frown
And everybody says he is the happiest man in town
He laughs upon Point QG, he laughs upon his beat
He laughs at everybody when he's walking in the street
He never can stop laughing
He says he never thrived
And once he did arrest a man and laughed until he cried
His jolly face did wrinkle then as he shut his eyes
He'd open up his great big mouth, he was a wondrous type
he said, I must arrest you
he didn't know what for
and then he started laughing
until he cracked his score
So if we just beat it
when they're walkin' round the town
They shake it by this battle
and they give it half a crown
His eyes will beam with sparkles
he'll giggle with delight
And then he'll start livin'
with all this pakumeda
No!