I meet a lot of women,
you know,
but all I got are women friends,
because I'm not a good closer.
Really, man.
Women friends, man.
The most useless group in the world.
Really, having a woman as just a friend
is like having $19 in the bank
and looking at your ATM card.
You are almost, but not quite there.
And I try to use them, you know,
I figure maybe this would be my hook.
I hang out with women,
I should be able to meet other women.
Found out that * don't work,
because women don't like other women around.
The minute I start talking to another girl,
they get mad at me.
They're like, what are you doing?
Get her out of here.
No, she's not good enough for you.
What about you?
What, are you kidding?
You're not good enough for me.
That's why we're friends.
So now I think there should be a rule.
If you're hanging out with a group of women
and they don't help you get laid,
then one of them's got to take one for the team.
That's my new incentive program.