All right,
our next comic is originally from New York City
and now lives in Hollywood.
You might have seen him in Bringing Down the House.
Please welcome to the stage right now,
Alonzo Bowden.
Come on, let's hear it for him.
Alonzo.
What's up?
How y'all doing?
Good.
I'm happy to be here, man.
It's a good gig,
because I could drive to this gig.
Really, because I don't know about you,
I can't handle flying anymore, man.
I'm not afraid of terrorists.
I can't handle any more airport security.
Really,
if I have to take my shoes off to get on a plane again,
I'm going to put my foot up somebody's ass, man.
This is the most ridiculous.
We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe
and now everyone has to take their shoes off?
Where's the bra bomber at?
It get fun for everybody, that's all I'm saying.
And I don't know what they checking me for anyway,
because I'm black.
And black people don't hijack planes.
All right, now I'll be the first to admit,
we steal a lot of *.
But we do not hijack planes.
In fact, in the history of aviation,
a black person has never even attempted to hijack a plane.
You know why?
Because you can't sell an airplane.
You tell me.
Thank you.