This place is like quicksandBirmingham's Venice, Glasgow's Detroit, Redlington's Prague by the seaSun's high in sky on English Riviera, the whole world is drinking with meBetween the jukebox and ladies' loos, a crazy path nobody would chooseWe're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, this place is like quicksandSure I've been this place before, keep peeping in the same old doorKeep sticking to the same old floor, this place, this place is like quicksandI'm sat next to the very same bloke, who's telling me the very same jokeBarman has to give me a poke, this place is like quicksandCoventry's Paris, Bristol's Madrid, South End's our own Saint-TropezI've been to every one but only in spirit, and we're drinking away there todayBetween the jukebox and ladies' loos, a crazy path nobody would chooseWe're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, this place is like quicksandWe're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, this place is like quicksandWe're Lawrence Foxes, we're right-set friendsDevoid of soul but high on medsBuy your shoes from Benson's for bedsThis place is like quicksandWe're flufflets, we're idiots, but God was strongOur feet are stuck but our reach is longWe're trapped and scared but we're singing this songThis place is like quicksandBetween the jukebox and ladies' loos, a crazy path nobody would chooseWe're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, this place is like quicksandWe're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, this place is like quicksand