Once upon a time, way back a long time ago

When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than

Mark Bolman, oh, thank you Frank

And don't misspell it, that's not Marc Bolan

That's Mark Volman Hiya friends, I wanna welcome each

And everyone of you, I wanna say to you tonight

I feel great, I mean, I feel great

Everywhere I go people are always comin' up to me

And they say Mark, Mark, Mark Mark are you kiddin', lemme tell you this friends

I am not kiddin', I mean, I am portly and I am maroon

Well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am?

Ah, I can't guess what you are Well, then I'll give you some clues

And the first clue is, I am portly

Does that help? Not much

No, I don't know who you are Okay, I got one, clue number two

I am double knit, does that help?

No, not much, whaddya mean? Well, then I've to give you one more clue

I know this is gonna give it away

And I hate like damn to tell you this

But clue number three

Ich bin Maroon!

Ah you're a sofa! Once upon a time, way back a long time ago

When the universe consisted

Of nothing more elaborate than

Mark Volman, thank you, Frank Trying to convince each and every member

Of this extremely hip audience here tonight

That he was nothing more, nothing less Than a fat maroon sofa

Suspended in the midst of a great emptiness

A light shined down from heaven And there he was ladies and gentleman

The good Lord and he took

He took a look at the sofa

And he said to himself

"Quite an attractive sofa"

"This sofa could be commercial" With a few more Margaritas

And the right company

However, I digress

"What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G' "Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"

And so in order to make this construction project possible,

He summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers

And, by means of a cute little song in the German language Which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business

The good Lord went something like this

Take it away Jim Pons Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa Everybody

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa And of course ladies and gentlemen that means

Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa

And sure enough boards of oak appeared

Throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis

And the Lord put aside his huge cigar

And proceeded to deliver unto the charming

Maroonish sofa, the bulk of his message With the assistance of a small electric clarinet

And it went something like this

Take it away Jim Pons Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa Everybody

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa And of course ladies and gentlemen, that means

Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa And sure enough boards of oak appeared

Throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bagner Regious

And the Lord put aside his huge cigar

And proceeded to deliver unto the charming

Maroonish sofa the bulk of his message With the assistance of a small electric clarinet

And he went something like this