You know I love that organic cooking, I always ask for moreAnd they call me Mr. Natural, on down to the health food storeI only eat good sea salt, white sugar don't touch my lipsAnd my friends is always begging me to take them on macrobiotic tripsYes they areBut at night I take out my strong box that I keep under lock and keyAnd I take it off to my closet where nobody else can seeI open that lid so slowly, take a peek up north, down southThen I pull out a hostess Twinkie and I pop it in my mouthIn the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can beBut at night I'm a junk food junkie, good lord have pity on meApplauseAt lunchtime you can always find me at the Whole Earth Vitamin BarJust sucking on my plain white yogurt from my hand-thrown pottery jarAnd sipping a little hand-pressed cider with a carrot stick for dessertAnd wiping my face in a natural way on the sleeve of my peasant shirtYes I doBut when that clock strikes midnight and I'm all by myselfI work that combination on my secret hideaway shelfAnd I pull out some Fritos corn chips, a Dr. Pepper and an old moon pieI sit back in glorious expectation of a genuine junk food highI'm Mr. NaturalIn the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can beBut at night I'm a junk food junkie, good lord have pity on meMy friends down at the commune, they think I'm pretty neatI don't know a thing about their arts and crafts, but I give them all something to eatI was a friend to old Yule Gibbons, rest his soul, I only eat homegrown spiceI got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn filled up with my brown rice, you know I doBut lately I have been spotted with a Big Mac on my breathStumbling into a Colonel Sanders with a face as white as deathI'm afraid someday they'll find me just stretched out on my bedWith a handful of Pringles potato chips and a ding dong by my headIn the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can beBut at night I'm a junk food junkie, good lord have pity on meI'm a junk food junkie, good lord have pity on me