It's so tiring.
Every breast cancer, I can't, the commercial,
you can't, give me a break.
Speaking of breast cancer, can somebody please cure it
so I don't have to look at my favorite NFL team
dressed like a float at the gay pride parade
every * October?
I've been complaining about this for 10 years, man, you know?
Finally get the * special to say this,
but this will finish my career this bit,
but stay with me, *.
I'm just saying it.
It's so, it's just so emasculating.
And all that pink stuff they tell you
that they sell the socks that the guys wear
after the, that's how they raise them.
It's all crock of *.
The NFL writes them a check at the beginning of the year
for like a half million dollars.
It's just about feminists sticking their *
mustachioed faces in my life,
not letting men have anything to themselves.
That's all that is, fellas, okay?
I'm just gonna let you know.
It's so emasculating.
Your quarterback comes to the line of scrimmage.
He starts yelling out all that macho *.
Red 80!
Red 80!
Omaha!
Drops back to pass.
He's dressed like I dream of Jeannie.
Is that a penalty on the play?
No, it's cancer scar fell off, I think.
That's what happened to me.
Every commercial.
If that's not, your team is dressed in pink,
and that's all it is.
They're not letting us have October.
It was the only macho month we had.
Your whole team is dressed in pink.
If that's not bad enough,
every commercial during an NFL game is for Viagra
telling me I can't get it up.
And then the next commercial is telling me
not to sexually abuse women.
Well, which one is it?
I'm getting mixed signals.
Am I an impotent little pussy,
or am I dangerous to any vagina
within 100 miles of my house?
Which one is it?
And who do they have telling me how to treat women?
Ice-T, former rapper,
former pimp, by the way.
I'm watching an NFL game.
All of a sudden, Ice-T pops up,
and he goes,
don't beat your bitches.
Back to the game.
Well, thank you, Mr. Ice.
Okay, I can sell pussy.
I just can't hit it?
All right, let me write that down.
Appreciate it.
Lemonade, man.
And those Viagra commercials
are the most hateful,
they're just, it's all about emasculation.
We don't need to be told by Agrizons.
We know where to * get it.
My 20-year-old cousin can make this *
in his tub, blindfolded.
He's selling it out of a van.
He's a trillionaire.
Seriously, that's a message, fellas,
just reminding you you're impotent.
It's the century of the woman.
Trust me, that's all that's about, okay?
You with me, guy in his late 70s?
You don't need that pill, right?
You look like a * horny *.
Yeah, okay.
It's so emasculating,
those commercials.
You see the woman they use to sell Viagra
to guys who can't get an erection?
Beautiful British woman laying on a bed,
blue eyes, gorgeous face,
and a nightgown, tits are hanging out.
That's who you use to sell Viagra
to guys who can't get...
You're taunting these poor bastards.
When you see a commercial late at night
for starving kids in Ethiopia,
the white guy doing the commercial,
he's not eating a foot-long cheese steak
in front of these kids, is he?
Yeah, send Kimba a nickel, he's starving.
What is this?
A ciabatta bread?
This is delicious.
I've never had a sandwich like this.
Can I get some more * basil aioli on this?
Hey, get him away from me.
He almost touched my leg.
This is delicious.
Can I get a...
That's who you use to sell pills
to guys who can't get it up?
That's * humiliating.
You see the commercial,
the lady's laying on the bed,
she's like, gentlemen,
you're with your favorite lady
and the setting is perfect.
And then erectile dysfunction happens.
Again.
Again?
You had to throw again in there?
It wasn't mean enough?
What the *'s right in this *?
Rosie O'Donnell?
What do you mean again?
What do you mean again?
It happened once.
I was on mushrooms in college.
Get over it.
Let's not harp on it for Christ's sake.
Again.
And it happens again.
You can't get your little pee-pee up.
Again and again and again.
You can't get a heart on it.
You're not a man.
How do you think that makes those guys feel
for Christ's sake?
Ladies, how would you like it?
You're watching The View.
All of a sudden,
a commercial comes on
with George Clooney
for Monistat 7.
Clooney's laying on a bed
in his underwear.
All tan, bedroom eyes,
candles everywhere.
Looks into the camera.
Ladies, you're with your favorite hunk.
And the setting is perfect.
And then he pulls down your panties
and the room smells like a can of smoked mussels.
Left in the back of a minivan
for three weeks in August.
Again.
And again.
And again.
There is no cure.
And again.
It stinks.
There's no cure.
You stink.
Smelly po-po.
Again.
You see what I'm saying?
I mean, we have feelings too.
Ladies.
What's the purpose of these?
What, I'm on a runway at LaGuardia?
What the *?
And again.