Oh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerOh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerYou know, mate, the ale pub's not the same since I've ever done herYeahI miss the ale foot-wine at the barYeahI miss the ale pianoYeahI miss the ale spittoonYeah, you always didOh, oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh, ohNow just a couple of weeks ago, I met this girl I knewAnd I took her down to the local pub, we had a drink or twoI gave her the unfamiliar line, she lapped it up and asked for moreJust at the crucial moment, God, me wife walked in the doorYou've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerHey, Bluey, what's today?Wednesday?Wednesday?No, mate, it's ThursdayThursday?Did you say Thursday?Well, seeing you mention it, let's have another flame of beerOh, but you'll shout, by the wayI was travelling out from Melbourne, given all the cars that burnedWhen some bloke tried to pass me, I said, these mugs never learnI pushed them into the gutter, you should have heard my anguished shoutWhen six foot of angry copper ripped my backBlue uniform got outYou've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerYou know that horse you told me the backless are, though?Yeah, did you back it?Yes, on the nose for a flaming tennerWell, how did you get it?Lost, she the backed it both ways, thoughWhy, did it run a place?No, ran flaming backwards, thoughWell, I guess when life is ailing, and I climb the golden stairsI'll be ready with some good advice for St Peter waiting thereI've got the very thing to get me through your gateway to the skyJust pop a top on one of these, it's the only way to flyYou've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerOh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesI reckon it's the only thing that every man deservesNow in any situation, to get you thick and clearThere's only one solution, you've got to have a beerOh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesHey, look, I was going to the boys' houseHow about you?It's stupid, never any other way, mateAnyway, it's not my share, it's yoursBut I shared it 40 years ago, I can remember!Oh, come on, what have you got, a rat trap in your pocket or something?There's no use, I don't take them anymoreOh, God, what have you been shouting all day?Go on, go on, just one more shot won't kill youGee, what do you know, I've got to get on to the missionYou've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nervesOh, alright, alright, alright, I've shouted before againDon't forget, don't forget you owe me a shout, mateWhat do you mean, what shout?I've got a real minute of a blue on there, they're going to fade in a minuteWhere is it coming from?