Oh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
Oh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
You know, mate, the ale pub's not the same since I've ever done her
Yeah
I miss the ale foot-wine at the bar
Yeah
I miss the ale piano
Yeah
I miss the ale spittoon
Yeah, you always did
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Now just a couple of weeks ago, I met this girl I knew
And I took her down to the local pub, we had a drink or two
I gave her the unfamiliar line, she lapped it up and asked for more
Just at the crucial moment, God, me wife walked in the door
You've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
Hey, Bluey, what's today?
Wednesday?
Wednesday?
No, mate, it's Thursday
Thursday?
Did you say Thursday?
Well, seeing you mention it, let's have another flame of beer
Oh, but you'll shout, by the way
I was travelling out from Melbourne, given all the cars that burned
When some bloke tried to pass me, I said, these mugs never learn
I pushed them into the gutter, you should have heard my anguished shout
When six foot of angry copper ripped my back






Blue uniform got out
You've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
You know that horse you told me the backless are, though?
Yeah, did you back it?
Yes, on the nose for a flaming tenner
Well, how did you get it?
Lost, she the backed it both ways, though
Why, did it run a place?
No, ran flaming backwards, though
Well, I guess when life is ailing, and I climb the golden stairs
I'll be ready with some good advice for St Peter waiting there
I've got the very thing to get me through your gateway to the sky
Just pop a top on one of these, it's the only way to fly
You've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
Oh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
I reckon it's the only thing that every man deserves
Now in any situation, to get you thick and clear
There's only one solution, you've got to have a beer
Oh, you've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
Hey, look, I was going to the boys' house
How about you?
It's stupid, never any other way, mate
Anyway, it's not my share, it's yours
But I shared it 40 years ago, I can remember!
Oh, come on, what have you got, a rat trap in your pocket or something?
There's no use, I don't take them anymore
Oh, God, what have you been shouting all day?
Go on, go on, just one more shot won't kill you
Gee, what do you know, I've got to get on to the mission
You've got to have a beer, mate, to soothe your bloody nerves
Oh, alright, alright, alright, I've shouted before again
Don't forget, don't forget you owe me a shout, mate
What do you mean, what shout?
I've got a real minute of a blue on there, they're going to fade in a minute
Where is it coming from?