There's nothing left for me to do There's nothing left for me in this world that I don't know This room is all I have, I don't even trust my own These feelings are so one dimension on the seas The only place that I feel peace in my dreams I'll die at twenty, I don't wanna live too long These dreams are all I had, and you know that they're long gone I'll find myself some street, but it's not for my guitar I'll hang up on the tree with my also broken heart I know that you wanna see me flourish Moving body, but I think I'm going to languish And I adore the sky, and I adore the evening But these thoughts I have are not good for me But I don't think I'll ever lie to you Because this life that I hate is so unbearable It's crazy to think how past experiences can manipulate me into thinking that all is lost I'm seventeen and I feel like I'm ninety-seven laying on my deathbed All my life I've been told that if nothing changes I can just cut myself at twenty To spare myself from the downward spiral of getting older Would I be able to handle the pressures brought onto me by society? Would I meet the standards society set for me in order to be a functioning human being? Would I meet the requirements to be a loving spouse? Am I just going to live my life all worried about the future? As I get closer and closer to twenty years old I get more and more anxious that nothing is going to work out If you told me when I was fifteen that I was going to see Christmas two years from then I'd call you absolutely insane I keep telling myself that I just need to give it another year Things will be different just give it another year And that's not a good way to live As a matter of fact that's a horrendous way to live And I'm wasting my prime years I'll never be able to be sixteen again When I'm eighteen I'll never be able to be seventeen again I wasted my entirety of twenty-seventeen and twenty-eighteen Trying to get over my absolutely horrendous ex-boyfriend that I was only with for half a year I wasted nearly two years trying to get over someone who only took up a blink of my life I'm so angry at myself for that And I'm so angry at myself for putting my life in fear for what Where I'll exactly be in a year from now I'm so angry at myself for not taking advantage of the amazing opportunities I have ***