I'd like to tell you a story about two friends. One of them called Willie Muffy and the other
fella called Patsy McCann. Now, Will Muffy was one of these people who never liked an
awful lot of walk at all. He walked a few greyhounds for the fella, just enough to get
five woodbines and a pint. But Will loved his pint in the evening as well, so how he
mainly got it was he'd get into the pub Friday, Saturday and Sunday and he'd tell some of
the most fantastic stories in the arms all about women and *** and dirty things and everything
that you ever heard in your life. So, being the very holey town that it was, all the fellas
would girdle around him, you know, with their eyes popping out of their head.
Well, anyway, how the story goes was, Will Muffy had disappeared from the town six months
ago and he was last seen going up McCann's Lane with a shovel on his shoulder and a black
dog down by the side of him.
All will, all will, all will, all will.
Now, Mr. McCann was a very clever man, an insurance man. He worked in the insurance
office all his life. A well-liked man, a well-respected man.
A married man with 11 children and a wife. Now, the usual thing on a Sunday morning for
all the women to gather up outside the church, up near Healy's Dairy, to talk about anybody
they were going to talk about, a good old gossip. Now, Will Muffy had been left the
town six months, as I said, so, of course, leading the conversation was Will Muffy.
All will, all will, all will.
Well, Mr. McCann would get there just in time for church and afterwards he'd just toddle
off home with his wife. Well, he wasn't a bad judge at all because one day a stranger
arrives into the town, up to Mrs. McGarman's door, knocks on the door. Mrs. McGarman said,
who is it? He said, Paddy Flanagan here. She said, yes, what do you want? He said, Will
Muffy sent me. She said, all will, all will.
Well, anyway, within a few minutes, the curtains were drawn and you can imagine the rest. That
was all right, but a few days later, up to Shanahan's door, knock, knocks on the bell.
Mrs. Shanahan said, who is it? He said, Paddy Flanagan here. She said, yes, what do you
want? He said, Will Muffy sent me. She said, all will, all will.
Oh, Jesus. Well, now, and he sent you straight to me, did he? For all will. I suppose he
knows and God knows that I'm grateful for small mercies. Oh, Paddy. I better not tell
you anymore because it gets a bit.
Oh, Paddy. I better not tell you anymore because it gets a bit.