What's the matter with me?Nobody loves meI just happen to beUnlucky in loveIt seems that every timeI make a dateI know from the startSomeone's gonna break the dateAnd break my heartWhat's the matter with me?I'm awfully moodyMust my love affairs beLike Punch and Judy?I always walk with myselfAnd talk with myselfAnd my heart and I agreeI'm not hard to takeSo for heaven's sakeWhat's the matter with me?I've read a million novelsEach had a love affairSome of them were successfulSome of them got nowhereWere I to write my storyIt would read like thisMy life's a wasteI've yet to tasteMy first kissWhat's the matter with me?I'm awfully moodyMust my love affairs beLike Punch and Judy?I always walk with myselfAnd talk with myselfAnd my heart and I agreeOh tell me what's the mystery?What's the trouble?The trouble can beWhat's the matter with poor, poor me?