What do you do when you're invited Out to the joint where guys get knighted? Raise your hat and say that you're delighted Yes, but tell me What do you do when noses stick up Cause you don't know which knife to pick up? Look around you and politely hiccup Yes, but I know Champagne, tea and caviar Need to be approached with etiquette Very well, then campaign for a samovar Get the better of the better set, go blimey! What do you do when debutantes Take you to tea to meet their aunties? You're as wise as I am, fine advisor I am What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you, what do you do? What do you, what do you do? What do you do with no school tie on? No Oxford accent to rely on? Sing a verse or two of any old iron? Yes, but tell me What do you do when you go places? What do you wear when at the races? Smogs all have to use me, fathers' prices Yes, but I know Fish and chips and jelly deals Is a diet I don't understand Oh, how I wish you knew just how it feels Eating a banana down a strand Oh, matey! What do you do when clubs refuse you? Can't even get your name in who's who? You're as wise as I am, fine advisor I am What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do?