Thank you, thank you, thank you, oh, thank you, lower your expectations, thank you, wow,
wow, it would have been weird if he didn't clap, I guess, if I walked out and you're
like, hmm, well, let's see, let's see how fat this * got, and the answer is fatter,
I gave up a long time ago, now it's like it's happening to someone else, oh, someone should
do something, I feel like I'm witnessing a forest fire, I hope they can contain it,
change a channel.
This is real, this isn't a prosthetic, I did it myself, it's organic, I am a fat guy,
there's indications, I've caught myself unconsciously covering my stomach with my arm,
that's a total fat guy move.
Now I'm thin, can't see my belly, fat, thin.
Maybe I hope people will look at me and think, is he holding a baby?
Oh, he's thin and nurturing, what a fella.
I know these pants are tight, that's a little gift for the ladies.
And some of the fellas.
Can't control who I turn on at this point.
These pants are tight, but after I wear them for a week, they'll look fine.
That's my approach with clothing, eventually the clothes go, all right, I'll adjust.
You can get bigger pants, or I could just stretch out, whatever works for you, Jim.
By the way, this shirt, when it's untucked, goes down to like here.
It's frightening, it's so long.
I look at it on my bed, I'm like, is that my shirt or a sleeping bag?
It's huge.
But then when I put it on, I'm like, it's a little tight.
Am I going rollerblading?
But I don't care.
Doesn't that sound believable?
Because that's our go-to, right?
When there's something we can't control, we just act like we wouldn't want it anyway.
I don't care.
Who'd want to be thin?
Who'd want to look healthy and attractive?
Everyone.
Not me, I'd rather look like a marshmallow with a wig on.