You showed up on a motorcycle late on Christmas EveSays his name is Leon but last year it was SteveYou don't know if he has a job and you don't care to askHe spends the evening in the corner sipping from a flaskHe's your weird cousin, who's so friggin' weirdYour weird cousin, he can't grow a beardYour weird cousin, everybody has a weird cousinYour weird cousin, and you can't help but love himHe shows up on a moped, his hair is soaking wetHe needs to borrow money cause he lost his in a horse racing betHe smells like gasoline, mixed with the county fairHe spends the evening trying to sell the family TupperwareHe's your weird cousin, who's so friggin' strangeYour weird cousin, I think he might have mangeYour weird cousin, everybody has a weird cousinYour weird cousin, and you can't help but love himConspiracy theoryThe moon landing, it wasn't real, they staged it in LAHe believes the FBI is really the CIAThe president's a lizard, and so are all the royalsWe should all wear pointy hats made of aluminum foilHe's your weird cousin, he's so friggin' oddYour weird cousin, how are you even related?Your weird cousinIf you don't have a weird cousinI'm sorry it's true, but look around the roomThe weird cousin is you