I just wanna throw these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself I just wanna throw these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself Somebody asked me, what do you have outside of music that really makes you happy? I thought about it and I ain't had no answer I started this *** 10 years ago, it was just me and my manager On the road, doing any shows, was filling up this calendar But Maddie's married now and it's a whole nother chapter While I'm in jerry land, I'm still here Prowling as a bachelor Woke up next to a stranger, what's her name? I had to ask her She probably thinks I got it all, but it's pain behind this laughter Hung up in the morning after, close my drapes and make it black out Tryna put the pieces together from last night when I blacked out On LSD out of convo with my brother, it brought a lot out See I don't never take the uniform off, and I don't clock out at all I just wanna throw these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself I just wanna throw these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself Coming down in my room all alone, listening to Mac Last time he texted me I was *** up, forgot I didn't hit him back Wish I could've spoken up, man, I just want my brother back But I mean, who am I to talk, bro, I'm still living like that They'll never understand what it's like to be an artist Make some *** that I don't feel Yes, man, tell me it's the hardest They just wanna keep their jobs, stay on my good side, keep their office Keep us on the road and no commission, no other profits Not everything is peachy, and yeah, I feel a Vichy 50,000 watching me, but I swear, don't nobody see me But it's rich people problems, it's stamps on my passport My mama's telling me that this is everything you asked for I just wanna do these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself I just wanna do these shards tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself My anxiety increases, the higher that I climb I thought this *** would get easier, it's here with time I'm happy in my mind, or at least I tell myself that Guess I'm damaged girls, I cannot help that Drugs take the edge off, hide inside my comfort zone Different girl every night, don't worry, I'ma die alone Me against the world, can't decide now what side I'm on Miss my family, but I act like I can't even dial a phone Cheated on my girl, I felt like ***, and then I sped off Clipped in the crib, quiet shower, took my wire cell off She woke up, grabbed my dick, I couldn't help it, I had to get off And then she gave me head, felt like I wanna blow my head off Think everybody cheats, everybody will Everybody leaves, but these drugs never will I know that sounds *** up, but in the end it's real Till I'm lost on a bender, asking myself, can I chill? This scale here will measure, 500 pounds of pressure The only thing to alleviate is a stash and a dresser Illuminate my ugly, you really sure you love me? You deserve to know this truth, decide now what you think of me I just wanna do these drugs tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself I just wanna do these drugs tonight Cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself I just really miss myself I just really miss myself