This folding chair's uncomfortable,
this flat beer is undrinkable
And I could think of 97 places I'd rather be
The room around this town is that high-waisted wedding gown
It's hot in month two or month three
It was either gonna be a shotgun wedding
Or a shotgunny cane outrunner daddy
I'll give you a year's supply of cigarettes
If they make it past Labor Day
I just saw the groom making out with the bridesmaid
But she's still got a ring by Halloween I'll throw in a case of Crown
This blessed union is doomed to go down
Yeah,
we're all taking bets while they're saying vows
I guess what happens one drunk night
It can turn into a new lot
Trailer made for Jerry Springer episode
He's spitting dip in a wine glass
Staring at her mama's ass While the bride's
praying that their secret don't show
And her best friend in the pink dress Got a new hickey on her neck
And we're all thinking how the heck does she not know?
I'll give you a year's supply of
cigarettes If they make it past Labor Day
I just saw the groom making out with the
bridesmaid But she's still got a ring by Halloween
I'll throw in a case of Crown This blessed union is doomed to go down
Yeah,
we're all taking bets while they're saying vows
Vows
Vows
Vows
Vows
Vows
But at least those that say they won't
So they'll say I do, at least until they don't
I'll give you a year's supply of
cigarettes if they make it past Labor Day
I just saw the groom making out with the bridesmaid
Well,
even the preacher's got a hundred on it now
Yeah,
we're all taking bets And I'm gonna win them cigarettes
We're all taking bets While they're saying vows