Hey, I am so glad that nobody's wearing a vest in here tonightYeah, we're not talking like, ladies, you might wear a vest to accentuate your outfitNo, we're talking like, guys, you gotta go to a camping store and buyIt's got duck feathers in itEven when my mom put a vest on me when I was youngerI was like, well, I guess we don't have that much moneyWhen do we get the rest of the jacket, lady, on your tax check?My elbows are coldI don't know how a grown man goes to buy that piece of clothingA grown man going to buy a vestHey, how you doing?You got something in here to keep me kind of warm?I don't know how that same man gets ready to go tonightHey, baby, is it cold out?All right, bring me my life jacketAll rightYou know what I believe?I believe other kids in other countries or other people are walking around with our sleevesThese poor kids in Africa, it's 110 degrees, they're out thereWhat kind of jacket is this?My elbows are hotYou guys are coolYou guys have come for comedyI just found out before the show there was no alcoholAnd I asked them, I was like, well, what do you guys give them?They're like, we got candyWe got candyThat was the coolest comedy club I've ever been toI don't know what they're talking aboutI don't know what they're talking aboutAre you kidding me?Nobody, nobody is going to get up and be rowdyMaybe on a sugar high, maybe this guy's got the diabetesStay away from the bar, sirThis guy's 5,000 years oldI don't know if you guys can see him, butIt might be George Washington's brother, I don't knowMichaelStop staringListen, there's a group of men out thereCould be women, tooThere's a whole societyThey are dedicated to finding BigfootNow listen!I don't care if you think Bigfoot is realThat's not what I'mMy thing is, there's other things you peopleCould devote your time toSolve other mysteries on the planetIf you got that much timeWaiting for a big hairy man to walk past youLike, come to our houseCome to our houseSolve some mysteries in our houseLike, find the other sockWhere is it?Find the lids to my TupperwareTell me why nobody cares that Kanye WestIs hoarding money from meHe's got some nuts in his cheeksI love that, you're likeOh, yeahTell me why you white people don't get madWith mimes put on whitefaceSo IYou can keep laughing, that was funny