Your attention please, ladies and gentlemen, step right up, step right up, I've got the mystery cure all right here for you, that's right, the liqueur that will cure all that ails you, and it's for you, it's for you, it's for you, and for everyone big and small, it's called Tequila Gunpowder, that's right, it's the finest blend of sweat and agave, highly recommended by yours truly, of course, Tucson Tex, made by the famous Hairless Mary, that's right, it approved by Dr. Feelgood out of Tombstone, which by the way is used on his red light ladies out there, Tequila Gunpowder will cure all that ails you, that's right, your blindness, your deafness, your arthritis, your whoopee cuff, your smally pox, your cheeky pox, your inability to dance, that's right, just to name a few, it'll make you from an Arizona tenor to a Nogales baritone, hell, it'll even take care of your sore throat, clear it right up, just like mine as you can see, what's in it you might ask, well, I can't tell you all the secrets, but I can tell you it mixes your rock with your avant-garde, with your folk, with your punk rock, with your Latin, with your desert rock, your funk, your indie rock, it's high gain stuff here, hell, it's so much fun, it's just like chewing snuff and drinking milk at the same time, so step right up and get your Tequila Gunpowder while you can, while you last, step right up, step right up, don't be afraid, okay, hold on there, slow down just a little bit, hold on, there's only one of me now, hey, hey now, stop that, stop that now, hold on, hold on just a minute now, hey, that's my ring, give that back, you didn't pay for that yet, get that over here, okay.