Security's gotten so bad,
now I just drove up to the airport in a G-string.
I'm like, hey, how you guys doing?
Huh, turn around, no problem, you got it.
Bend over, yeah, I can do that too.
By the time they're done searching me,
I make enough money in tips I can pay for my airfare.
And I was in a little bit of a rush,
so I asked the lady, I said,
hey, can we move this process along?
I'm in a little bit of a hurry,
I'm trying to get on my plane.
What's your rush, Mr. Rockman, what's your rush?
Why are you trying to get on the plane so quickly?
What's your rush?
I have a show.
What kind of show, Mr. Rockman?
I'm a comedian.
Oh, you're a comedian?
Say something funny.
I just graduated from flight school.
I'm just afraid to go to jail, man.
Because things change when you go to jail.
For instance,
when black guys go to jail,
you guys always go
in as Tyrone Washington,
but you always come out
Muhammad Abdul-Saleem.
What's up with that?
God forbid I went to jail,
because I'd go in as Ahmed Ahmed
and come out Leroy Jones.
Or Leroy Jones' bitch, one or the other.
My friends changed on me after September 11.
All my black friends changed on me after September 11.
In fact, the morning of September 11,
all my black friends were calling me up.
They were like, yeah, well, man,
at least it wasn't us, motherfucker.
Now,
see,
you A-Rabs got to take responsibility for your people,
you know what I'm saying?
Tilehead, duncoon, motherfucker.
I'm like,
yo,
Tyrone,
man,
I told you I'm from Egypt.
We talked about that.
Oh, man, that's right, I forgot.
You Egyptian.
That means we connected.
We both related.
We both from mother Africa.
We both from the motherland.
I'm like, you're from Detroit, dog.
I'll call you back.
My Latin friends, same thing, man.
Where are the Latinos in the room?
Let me hear you Latinos.
Latins are cool, but before September 11,
man, you guys were totally different, man.
Before 9-11,
you guys were like,
hey,
*,
if he's brown,
he's Donald Trump.
After
9-11, you guys were like, hey, he looks like us,
but it wasn't us.
I * bust a cap in Saddam's ass, eh?
You may be from the Middle East,
but I'm from * Pomona,
homie.