I know you're home to go to the big you know where And you're here to try to earn your ticket there Better listen up or you haven't got a prayer Let me break it down If you want someone to love you, babe, you gotta look like me Be flawless, be a perfection, up a shelf And my first impression of you, as far as I can see Is you simply can't compete with my sweet self Is your hair as thick as mine? Are your arms as plumped as mine? Are the moves you got as dropped and hot as this? Is your profile half as fine? If not, let me hit you with the bottom line Got to measure up or you won't get eternal bliss So let me be honest I got to be honest I'm gonna be honest Whether you like it or not You're much too short You're way too thin Is that a blemish on your double chin? You'll never walk a runway Oh man, a kiss and booze You're U-G-F-Y And that's it, unless you U-G-F-Y U-G-F-Y U-G-F-Y Perhaps I've just upset you But people, let's get real It's the most exclusive club that you own in There's a price to pay, I bet you Hey, you gotta look ideal Or you'll end up in your own recycling bin Is your smile as white as this? Are your glutes as tight as this? I'ma trash you and they'll mash you into glue Just a flaw that's slight as this Just one tiny little thing to beat or miss Oops, oh well, I'm sorry Sayonara, toodle-oo But hey, I can help you Well, possibly help you Well, hopefully help you But you probably not Your head's too small Your neck's too long Your nose looks right But your head's up above Mmm, that tiny crackle Ooh, that crooked tooth You're U-G-F-Y And that's it, I'm glad you U-G-F-Y Mixed like that, why even try? U-G-F-Y Make that head like triple fry U-G-F-Y Sorry if that makes you cry You're ugly, so ugly, so Wait! Look at you, look at you, look at you I ain't seen nothing like you before I mean, words fail me I mean, I'm tongue-tied I mean, I'm speechless, baby What's a thing like you Doing in a place like this? I gotta tell you, girl, you're Pretty Pretty ugly Pretty ugly And that's the ugly truth Yeah So sorry, that's the truth Ooh That's just the ugly truth Yeah, you're U-G-F-Y And that's the Ugly Truth