And I think one of the things that makes me angriest is how every time something goes
wrong in a relationship, it's always about what the girl has done.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's never about him and what problems he has.
I remember every single situation, the girl who had a short skirt at Brie and something
happened to her and it was like, what was she wearing?
The Karaba Mukwenda situation, what did she do for him to do that to her?
That's always the situation with them.
But you think it's about the girls or people should look at the source, like where is everything
coming from?
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Like, yeah.
So nobody ever like, because even with that, like I get that we have like super cool organizations
that help girls all the time get over stuff.
But I really feel like, you know, the boy child, we exactly, we need to pay attention
to them.
Like, what is his issue?
What has he gone through?
What is he seeing in his life?
How did he get where he is right now?
Exactly.
Right.
Because clearly he knows how to lay a hand on a woman because this is the life he was
accustomed to.
That's what he thinks he's right.
Whether he saw it from, you know, the people before him or, you know, like he was told
by his childhood.
You get what I'm saying?
And it's just so messed up because I feel like a lot of females lives get derailed because
of this narrative that we're scared to go on, like even with like people always asking
about our love lives, right?
It's never, it's never really about, you know, what's your music?
What are you up to?
What are you doing here and there and there and there?
It's like the relationship is the most important thing.
And when the relationship fails, it's almost like, ah, what did she do for the relationship
to fail?
You know?
So, I mean, with my own personal experiences and I know like a whole lot of other females,
when you go back to forgive, you're still wrong.
You know, it's almost like, what has she done?
Why is she going back to forgive?
There's a guilty conscience there and whatnot.
And to be honest, there is a guilty conscience because you feel like you didn't do enough
to change him.
Right?
Yeah.
Because I feel like people should also investigate and talk to the guy like, what made you do
what you did?
Yeah.
Yeah.
People should also talk to the guys and understand what's really happening.
Exactly.
Because you can't just focus on the girl.
Yeah.
Like you need to look at the guy.
So we're going to carry on having discussions about Tukarabo Mukwena, about Akinzani, about
so many people.
And girls will continue to, I don't know, like second, to have second thoughts every
time they try to leave because that's how society is.
Right?
The Twitter streets are like that.
Like, what is she doing?
Ah, she's probably doing something to provoke him.
And I just think that this is a growing phenomenon.
We need to go back to the basics.
Find organizations that are going to support the boy child.
Find out how we can also support the girl child by not victimizing her further, knowing
that she's already at a disadvantage.
I mean, being a female in entertainment, your life is like spread open.
Right?
You're always wrong no matter what you do, no matter what you get right.
How you look, you know, the way you behave, everything else is always before your mind
and what you can offer to society.
So I just feel like, can we go back to finding out how we can heal the boy child?
Yeah.
Because a lot of people are talking about Tukarabo, Akinzani, all the girls, but they're
not talking about Sandile, the other guy, the Sandile Manswe.
Right now, what led him to being that monster?
I don't believe anyone was born as a monster.
You know, I don't believe anyone was born as a monster.
Can we start investigating those things?
Can we start investigating?
Because I'm going to be honest, I'm a broken human being.
I am more broken about a background, about not having, you know what I'm saying, about
not having the right thought.
He was present, but he didn't do the right thing.
I saw him beat on moms.
I saw him abuse alcohol.
I saw him do the most.
And those things can affect you in life.
Exactly.
So I don't even know what a healthy relationship looks like because I'm out here believing
that love is literally, he beats you and then he makes it better.
He blows it in your face again.
So how do we begin to unravel all these different things?
Because psychologically, I don't even know what a healthy relationship is.
And to top it all off, I just feel like a female is always blamed for what goes wrong.
So I don't want to be quoted out of context.
I am for the female.
I am for the woman.
I am for the strong individual who stands behind us.
But I'm sitting here thinking, we need to fix our men.
It's not about fixing ourselves.
We need to fix our men.
We're not the people with the problem.
They are.
How do we start by doing that?