The Rum Tum Tug is a curious cat If you open me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat If you put me in a flat, then I'd rather have a horse You set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat You set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse The Rum Tum Tug is a curious cat And originally cool for me to shout For he will deal as we do deal And there's no doing anything about a wild, a wild, wild deal The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore When you let me in, then I wanna go out I'm always on the wrong side of every door As soon as I get home from dinner, like to get about I like to laugh in the pure old drawer But I make such a fuss if I can't get out The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat And originally useful for you to doubt For he will deal as we do deal And there's no doing anything about a wild, a wild, wild deal The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast When you're disobliging ways, it's a matter of habit If you offer me fish, then I always wanna feast Where there isn't any fish, well, darling, I'm not a harbour rabbit If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sniff For I only love what I find For myself The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and annoying The Rum Tum Tugger is a careful recorder For I leap up in your lap in the middle of your show And for there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible bottle The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle Nah, nah, no more milk Milk! The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat There isn't any need for me to spout For he will do as he do deal And there's no doing anything About About About it!