Whenever I order my iced double decaf butterscotch cappuccinoand it comes and there's a little bit of paperat the very top of the straw,I recycle that paper, all right?And then when I'm done, I get the strawand I feed it to baby dolphins.They love them.Yeah.They think they're little burritos,which are the perfect food,and they don't have hands, so that's the closest.And I know...All right, I know about burritos.I grew up outside Detroitin a little town called Tucson, Arizona.Which is like burrito headquarters,but now there's all these artisanal placeslike L.L. Bean Burrito Companyand you have to get the portobello burrito,which are these condescending mushroomsthat are marinated in white wineand then reduced with black beans and goat cheeseand fresh cilantro, and then it's pureedand put into a pastry bagand squirted into this organic hand-tossedhoey tortilla on top with a sun-dried tomatowhite wine butter sauce on the sidesand mixed baby green salad, roasted pine nutsand a red pepper vinaigretteand a blue corn polenta with a tequila-lying chutneyand sprinkled with amaranth and quinoa.Mmm, yeah.Mmm, so good.I know.I know.Just the way the Incas had their burritos.I had one of those thingsthat fancy people have in the morning.Day job.I had a day job.The first thing you have to dowhen you have a day jobis you have to get up early in the morningand that's inconvenient for mebecause they don't give you a wake-up callfrom the office.Hello?Rise and shine.Time to get out of your man-jamasand come on down to the officeso we can steal your best ideas.No, you have to get up on your own early in the morning.So I had to get this alarm clock.Have you seen these, anyone?Bueller?It's like a regular clockbut it's hooked up with this alarming deviceand what it does is it wakes you up abruptlyin the morningwhich is the best way to get upwhen you've been unconscious for a third of a dayaccording to napticians and sleepologists.You don't want to get up gradually.No, you get up like a jackrabbit.Oh, wow.Don't want to miss the rush hour, right?So you get up and you shower and you pee-peeand you have some coffeeand for me, that's too many hot liquids at one time.I don't think that's good for your systemto have hot liquids coming in and going outand getting shot at youbut that's what you do.You wake up and it's hot liquid, hot liquid, hot liquidand then you go outsideand it's unbelievable.It's unbelievable how many peopleare outside in the morning time.You wouldn't believe how unbelievable it is.Believe me.I would guess like 50%or maybe even as many as halfof all the peopleare up in the morningand they're not all sparkly face about it, right?There's a million people there.They're all trying to get over hereand there's a million people hereand they're all trying to get over there.It's really not organized well at all.You know, why don't you guys live thereand work over thereand you guys could live hereand work over herebut no,they want to do this Chinese fire drillevery morning for three hours.I would take the number nine buswhich I call the cometbecause it comes once every 78 yearsandbecause you don't want to be in bed anymore.You can't get any work done therewhere it's soft and quietand warm and comfortableand peaceful and mellow.No, you want to get to the placewhere you don't want to be.That's where you want to be,the place you don't want to go,the officeand I worked,this big office,it was like a cube farm.There was a lot of cubiclesbut nice, very nice peoplethat you could bring their pets.Some people brought a prairie dogin the morningand they go,look, there's a prairie dogand I go, where, where is it?And then they go,there's a prairie dogand I look aroundand I,I never saw himbut that,that doesn't diminishtheir experienceand