Voice of host: lets meet contestant number one he's a skitzophranic serial killer clown who says women love his s*** smile lets see if his charm will work on sharon sharon, what's your question?

Sharon: contestant number 1, I belive first impressions last forever so let say you were to come over to my parents house and have dinner with me and my family how would you make that first impression really stick?

Violent J: Hmm well lets see I'd have to think about it I might show up in a tux ha! But I doubt it I'd probably just show up naked like I always do and look your mama in the eye and tell her *** You! Hurry bitch I'm hungry I smell spaghetti, I pinch her loopy ass and tell her get the food ready your dad would probably start trippin, and get me pissed, I'd have to walk up and bust him in the ***in lips it's dinnertime! Were hearin grace from your mother I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother I'm steady starin at your sister, I'll tell ya this, ya know for only 13 she got some big tits! After that, your dad would try to jump again, but only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin after your Mom does the dishes and the silverware, I'd dry *** her till I nut in my underwear

~~~applause~~~

Host: now lets meet contestant number 2 he's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak who works for the dark carnival he says women call him stretch nutz sharon, lets hear your question...

Sharon: I like a man whos not afraid to show his true emotion a man who expresses himself in his own special way number 2, if you were to fall in love with me, how would you show me that you care?

Shaggy: First thing, I could never love you, you sound like a witchy bitch yo *** you! But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care by takin all these other mutha ***as outta here I'd go through your phone book and whack em all, I'd find contestant number one I'd break his ***in jaw (what! ?) anyone that looked at you would have to pay, I'd be blowin ***in nuggets off all day I'd *** your titties Stretch em down past your waist, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can. Get ya naked and hit it like a cave man! We go to tha beach and walk though the sand I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin as you spit it all out, I rub your back, and *** your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!

~~~laughter and applause~~~

Host: well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity, sharon it's a tough choice so far, sharon lets have your last question to find out whos gonna have the rights to your Neden

Sharon: ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be who eversthe smoothest wins!

Violent J: Ok First, I'd sliiide up the bar, and tell ya that I can't believe how ***in fat you are I'd say I like the way you make your titties shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like ricki lake

Shaggy: *** that! You'd be jackin me quick, I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face

Violent J: Yeah freak her with your nutz, yo, thatll get her

Shaggy: Tell her that she's fat, yeah thatll work even better

Violent J: Look, *** you, I got a strong rap *** you don't want contestant number two he's mad whack, I walked in a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket hooough tryin to *** it it was big ***in smelly ass farm llama

Shaggy: Damn dawg! How ya gonna *** your mama?

~~~champagne popping and laughing~~~