Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, the old firm, the old firm, the old firm, Max, have you got a stall laid out? Yes. Right, sing them the song, here we go then. Sweelin' pick a tanner, don't forget your mohair laces. A button hook, a dirty book, and men's elastic braces. The greatest value here today. A bargain just for you. Not three pence each, not six pence each, but a half a pound or two. Here, lady, listen to this. I sold a bloke a diet sheet to help him lose some weight. He followed the directions for a week and what a state. He used to weigh about fourteen stone until I took it off him. Now he weighs a stone and a half and that includes his coffin. Sweelin' pick a tanner, don't forget your mohair laces. A button hook, a dirty book, and men's elastic braces. The greatest value here today. A bargain just for you. Not three pence each, not six pence each, but a half a pound or two. Hey you, you sold me a watch last week. I wasn't here last week. I've only just come out. If it wasn't for good conduct I'd still be in. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. You sold me a watch last week. I wasn't here last week. I've only just come out. If it wasn't for good conduct I'd still be in. Well it was your ugly partner with Big Ooter then. Any road it doesn't go. Did you wind it up? Well of course I wound it up. I told you not to interfere with it. I'll interfere with you? I'll break every bone in your body. You'll be lucky. I'm Felidon. Hey! Sing quick, sing. A spit-soaked hairy sore-out made by a doctor tube. Supposed to make your hair grow. Only one in sixty tubes. I rubbed it on for just a week. How that smell still lingers. It never grew hair on my head, but a beard grew on my fingers. I'll get your mouth hair laces. I'll flatten up a dirty book and men's elastic braces. The greatest value in the day. A bargain just for you. Not provinces. Not sixpence each. But half a gram or two. Here. What? Here. I've got something for the ladies. Yeah well hey, what you've got for the ladies they can do without. Now one bloke sold a cure for coughs. It's got every power. There's link to syrup and centipods. Take one ounce every hour. My mate bought some right there and then and tossed a pint right off. He's hanging round a lamppost now. He's too afraid to cough. We need a big container. Don't forget your mouth hair laces. I'll flatten up a dirty book and men's elastic braces. A pitcher of Mussolini. And two lovely acid drops. A bust of Lord Roberts on a big white horse. And a clockwork Flea Water. Well here we are now. Now ladies and gentlemen we're packing up now. We're packing up now. Everything half price. Half price. I'll have a packet of Flea Powder. Will you take it with you? Shall I blow it down your back? That's a lousy joke. A man stood in the pouring rain. All running out of his shoes. He hadn't sold a thing all day. He sorted back to the loo. The kids had nicked his bicycle. His lumbago in both arms. He said I'm fed up standing here selling lucky charms. Squeezing through the canner. Don't forget your mouth hair laces. I'll flatten up a dirty book and men's elastic braces. The greatest value here today. A bargain just for you. If you will buy a second hand time. I'll give you free a cup of tea. Provided that you buy a hat and stick. It in your. Handbag. Handbag.