UNOS DOS TRES SUSY CUATRO
All day beneath the parasols, I pratt around on the beach
At night I'm pissed as arseholes, and incapable of speech
But I'm going back to Majorca, back to the prettiest girl that I've seen
I nearly went crackers when she held my maracas and I burst her tambourine
She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away
Oh, she swallowed my pina colada
Oh, blimey, oh, Riley
Oh, Riley, ole, I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh, blimey, oh, Riley, ole
Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, me down quick
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye
You think I'm gonna be sick
Oh, that's better happening
I don't go swimming, I just look at the women
As I stroll down by the ocean
They don't wear vests upon their chests
They just walk on the beach

I wear suntan lotion
When there's knockers, por favor
Luna, Paloma, Blanca
I go to Spain, get out of my brain
And act like a *
I wear reflective sunglasses
To secretly stare at the tits
But I never drink the water
In case I get the shits
I'm going back to Majorca
To get up to me scrotum in sin
There's lots of hells you father down on the Costa Brava
And I'm going back to Majorca
They blame it on jet lag and gin
She was topless, I was legless
We boogied the moonlight away
Oh, she swallowed my pina colada
Oh, blimey, oh, Riley, ole
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh, blimey, oh, Riley, ole
But when I get back to work, sob
And the sand runs out of my socks
I'll dream of that sweet senorita
Who gave me a dose of la dulce vita
And a vinto, la dulce vita
And a vinto under rocks