It is always a mystery to me how the women got on before the looking-glass was invented,and indeed some of the men, if it went to that, they're often enough in front of it.Well, the looking-glass was invented, and there was one man that was dull of the fact he wasliving in an out-of-the-way place. There was an excursion, and he availed himself of thelawfare to travel out, and when he got to the city, he went down the main street and into a big shopwhere he saw a heap of these little shiny things up on the counter, little oblongs, you know, biggerthan a small cigarette box. So he took up one of the shiny things, and he put it that way in frontof his face, and he said, huh, picture of my father wherever they got it, and turning to the girlinside the counter, he said, how much are these going for? Yeah, it was only a trifle. So he boughtwhat he thought was a picture of his father, and he put it into his pocket.And every opportunity he got, he'd take that out and admire his father's picture, a man he hadgreat respect for, and that was dead for some time. And he says to the girl, where did you buythese? And she said, they came from London. Oh, London, he said, my father was never in London.Maybe he passed through London on his way to heaven. Well, he brought home the picture of hisfather, but he was very careful not to let his wife see it, for indeed she didn't have the samerespect for him. And he said, well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don'trespect for the father-in-law. Which of them have? Well, curiosity was killing her, for she saw himgoing to the pocket and taking out this, whatever it was, and admiring it. One day, her chance came,what happened, but a neighbour's chimney to go on fire, and her husband, when he heard all thehilly-bow-herk, he ran out and forgot to take his coat. He was no sooner gone than her ladyshipdived into the inside pocket and took out the looking-glass and put it up in front of her faceand said, who's this old hairpin? And indeed, wherever he met her, she is no great shakes.I can tell you, if that's what's drying him off into the cities, I'll soon put a haul to his gallop.And she put the looking-glass back into his pocket and geared herself for battle,and we all know what women can be in such a situation. Her husband came back after he haddone the good turn for the neighbour, and of course, she approached him.Such a thing, she said. What are you doing with the picture of this other Dolly Varden inside inyour pocket? The man said, that's not a picture of any woman. He said, that's a picture of my father.And she said, with a dress on him? Oh, she said, you'll hear more about this, putting on her hatand coat and going over to the presbytery. Well, when she landed at the priest's house, Father John,you could knock him down with a feather, for he said that he knew her husband very,very well, that he was a nice, pious, quiet, devout man. God help your head, Father, she said.He has me fooled up to the ball of my eye, and what's more, he has a picture of the strangewoman inside in his pocket. Oh, says Father John, that won't do. That'd be a nice headline to begiving my congregation. I'll have to go to the house and reprimand him. So Father John and herselfcame to the house, and Father John, when he lifted the latch, he said,my good man, this is enough about this. Hand me out the picture of that strange woman you havethere inside in your pocket. Well, her husband, when he heard that, he was hoping that a holewould come on the floor and swallow him. So he went over to the court, and he took out the lookingglass out of the pocket, and he handed it to Father John. And Father John, he put the lookingglass like that in front of his face, and when he saw who was looking out at him, he got a fit oflaughing. Who else does he?The two of you would want to have your heads examined. Isn't that the parish priest that washere before me?