I was walking down the high street when I heard footsteps behind me and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey juggling away well he trotted back to my house and he sat beside the telly with his tiny hands on his stomach smiling away laughing all day I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me you're standing on my foot well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine when I put him on the train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a bag and this morning when I woke up he was sitting on the edge of my bed with his brother whose name was Fred he brought him along to sing me a song all right let's hear it yeah what are you wearing that mask for I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me gnome I'm a gnome anyway yeah yeah you've got a lobe to go to didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school you look like a rolling gnome now they're settled up me chimney and we're living on caviar and honey because they're earning me lots of money writing comedy prose for radio shows it's the uh it's the loan service of course I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me did you come here on the metronome anyway mind your own business I'm four inches high and you're only three and a half you