T'was sunset down in old Key West The locals all were highThe tourists snapped their photographs And munched their key lime pieMeanwhile, down at Sloppy Joe's The drinks were standin' tallWith Buffet on the jukebox And Hemingway on the wallThen up spoke Sam the Shrimper He said, I've been a shrimper all my lifeMy daddy was a shrimper And my mom's a shrimper's wifeAnd I'm tired of bein' a shrimper Cause this shrimper's life's too tameSo I'm gonna rob the conk train, boys And be like Jesse JamesGonna be like Jesse James, boys Gonna be like Jesse JamesIn case you didn't hear me the first three timesGonna be like Jesse JamesNow the conk train is a tourist toy That rolls through Key West townLike some weird ride from Disneyland It drives the tourists round and roundWhile the engineer on her PA Points out all the sitesWhere Tennessee did you know What do you know that name?But the tourists all have money, said Sam Their wives have rings of goldTheir mopeds all are Pawn Able Their cameras can be soldAnd think of all the glory, boys The money and the fameTo be the first and only man To rob the Key West trainNow the engineer of the conk train Her name was Betsy WrightShe drove the conk train all day long And loved Shrimper Sam all nightAnd with some sweet persuasion She agreed to join the gameShe'd slow it down at Flagler And let him rob the trainThe conk train made its turn Down at Smathers BeachWhen Shrimper Sam with a snorkel on Leaped naked from the seaHis fillet knife was in his hand He jumped aboard the trainGive up your bucks, you tourist schmucks I'm Key West Jesse JamesI'm Key West Jesse James, boy Key West Jesse JamesIn case you didn't hear me the first three times I'm Key West Jesse JamesNow unbeknownst to Shrimper Sam In the third car from the rearSat Kelso Bowles from Muscle Shoals An American legionnaireHe was a redneck of respect And a marksman of renownFrom under his fat he drew a gat And shot the Shrimper downNow the first time that he shot poor Sam Sam groaned and clutched his sideThe second time he shot poor Sam Sam fell to his knees and criedAnd the third time that he shot poor Sam You could see in both their eyesLash LaRue and Randolph Scott Beneath the western skiesWe lay poor Sam upon the sand And we lifted up his headWe listened close to hear the words The dying Shrimper saidHe said boys you know I had my chance But I went and botched the jobBut how can a boy be Jesse James Without a train to rideThen Kelso Bowles he took off his hat And the tears streamed down his faceHe said son I know just how you feel This world's a changing placeWhen history is written They won't recall our namesBut I only got to play Pat Garrett Cause you played Jesse JamesWe buried Sam in the southernmost sand Close by the southernmost wavesWhere sweet Betsy Wright Cries tears every nightOnto the southernmost grave And on his tombstone see the wordsStick to your own game And if you are a ShrimperDo not try to rob a train