T'was sunset down in old Key West The locals all were high
The tourists snapped their photographs And munched their key lime pie
Meanwhile, down at Sloppy Joe's The drinks were standin' tall
With Buffet on the jukebox And Hemingway on the wall
Then up spoke Sam the Shrimper He said, I've been a shrimper all my life
My daddy was a shrimper And my mom's a shrimper's wife
And I'm tired of bein' a shrimper Cause this shrimper's life's too tame
So I'm gonna rob the conk train, boys And be like Jesse James
Gonna be like Jesse James, boys Gonna be like Jesse James
In case you didn't hear me the first three times
Gonna be like Jesse James
Now the conk train is a tourist toy That rolls through Key West town
Like some weird ride from Disneyland It drives the tourists round and round
While the engineer on her PA Points out all the sites
Where Tennessee did you know What do you know that name?
But the tourists all have money, said Sam Their wives have rings of gold
Their mopeds all are Pawn Able Their cameras can be sold
And think of all the glory, boys The money and the fame
To be the first and only man To rob the Key West train
Now the engineer of the conk train Her name was Betsy Wright
She drove the conk train all day long And loved Shrimper Sam all night
And with some sweet persuasion She agreed to join the game
She'd slow it down at Flagler And let him rob the train
The conk train made its turn Down at Smathers Beach
When Shrimper Sam with a snorkel on Leaped naked from the sea
His fillet knife was in his hand He jumped aboard the train
Give up your bucks, you tourist schmucks I'm Key West Jesse James
I'm Key West Jesse James, boy Key West Jesse James
In case you didn't hear me the first three times I'm Key West Jesse James
Now unbeknownst to Shrimper Sam In the third car from the rear
Sat Kelso Bowles from Muscle Shoals An American legionnaire
He was a redneck of respect And a marksman of renown
From under his fat he drew a gat And shot the Shrimper down
Now the first time that he shot poor Sam Sam groaned and clutched his side
The second time he shot poor Sam Sam fell to his knees and cried
And the third time that he shot poor Sam You could see in both their eyes
Lash LaRue and Randolph Scott Beneath the western skies
We lay poor Sam upon the sand And we lifted up his head
We listened close to hear the words The dying Shrimper said
He said boys you know I had my chance But I went and botched the job
But how can a boy be Jesse James Without a train to ride
Then Kelso Bowles he took off his hat And the tears streamed down his face
He said son I know just how you feel This world's a changing place
When history is written They won't recall our names
But I only got to play Pat Garrett Cause you played Jesse James
We buried Sam in the southernmost sand Close by the southernmost waves
Where sweet Betsy Wright Cries tears every night
Onto the southernmost grave And on his tombstone see the words
Stick to your own game And if you are a Shrimper
Do not try to rob a train