Snow
on the window,
same as last year Lights on the tree still blink through my beer
I told myself I'd leave it alone But
the frame on the shelf kept calling me
home You're smiling, that ugly red sweater
The only damn thing that still feels like forever
I stood there shaking,
thumb on the glass Like I could erase the weight of the past
So I took you down from last Christmas night Pulled the nail slow,
tried to do it right
Couldn't rip you up,
couldn't burn the proof Just slid you in the drawer with the .22
Face down in the dark,
like a loaded gun One bad night away from being done
I took you down,
but I can't let you go Last Christmas lives with nobody knows
The house is too quiet,
the dog don't even bark He still waits by the door after dark
Sometimes I open that drawer just to breathe
Smell the cold paper and almost believe
You're walking back in with snow in your hair Saying baby I'm sorry,
I'm still there
But the hallway stays empty,
the silence wins I close it again and hate my own skin
Yeah I took you down from last Christmas night
Hung a clock in the hall to pretend it's alright
But time don't heal what won't leave my hands
You're locked in the wood with the bullets and plans
Face down in the dark,
like a loaded gun One drink too many and we both come undone
I took you down,
God I miss you so Last Christmas waits where the hurting don't show
Maybe in ten years I'll laugh at the pain
Or maybe I'll load it and call out your name
Either way darling,
you're still in this room A ghost in a drawer and a four minute tune
I took you down from last Christmas night The
walls got a scar and the pale morning light
I swore I was stronger,
swore I was through But some things you bury still breathe under you
Face down in the dark,
like a loaded gun One breath from the edge and the damage is done
Merry
Christmas to me
The drawer stays shut
For now