well i guess this story must begin that faithful day away back when i decided i should have a
credit card so i filled out this application listed all my recommendations sent it off in
the mail and in a month or so the mailman brought me my brand new charge all card
better than checks safer than money and not near as dirty
well it laid around for a couple of days and finally i thought well what the hey why not see
if this thing will really work so i went down to my favorite store picked out three or four shirts
or more a pair of pants and a striped tie and the man came by and said yes sir cash or charge
i said just put it on my credit card write that dude up oh convenient
well i put that
card away in a drawer and i never charged a dollar more and one day in the mail i got this bill
typed on a card all full of holes said do not staple bend or fold was the astronomical figure
of thirty two hundred dollars and forty two cents when there's been a mistake so i got on the phone
hello hello
i got mr black and mr brown and then i got the runaround
he'll find me on the phone and i'll be right back
mr green came on the line
i said sir this may be hard to take but your computer has made a mistake
he says i owe more money than i've ever seen and he said people like you make mistakes
computers do not lie
send us the bread
pdq
now this just about done me in so i grabbed that computer card again the one with all those holes
punched out so nice
and i threw it on the floor and i stomped it twice then i whipped out my pocket knife
and punched out a few new holes where there hadn't been no holes before then i bent it double
stapled it across the end drove my car over it stick that up your computer
i sent it back in i never heard no more to one day the mailman came to
the door with a special delivery from the charge all place inside was a note from mr green said we ran a little too long

your heart through our machine and it tells us you've overpaid your bill and closed it's a check
payable to you for nine thousand dollars we appreciate your business
well i got back on the phone again called mr green and he was in and i said i think there's
something you should know then i told him what the computer had done and i said just remember
you're the one that told me computers do not lie thank you