Ladies, listen up this song is for you

You know it's hard out there to find a dude

But The Lonely Island's got three top-notch brothers

So sit back and listen while they compliment each other My man 'Kiv is the ***

Dude is thoughtful as ***, plus his body is ripped

He's a good listener even when he's exhausted

And he's crazy hygienic, always brushing and flossing But that ain't nothing compared to my main man Jorm'

The most sensitive, caring dude I've ever known

He's got that sweet smile, he's got that slow touch

What's the sweet smell? Oh ***, he cooked you brunch! But hold up, my man Andy's got us both beat!

He makes a skinny margarita that's a wonderful treat

Plus caramel eyes that are hella disarming

He ain't no ***ing Prince my man is King Charming Jor' you're far to kind, and speaking of kindness

My man 'Kiv's been diagnosed with colorblindness

He loves all people, plus he's got the fat dick

It's like a gold ***, all shiny and thick When they pitched me this song, they were kinda vague

But I said "*** it, I'm in" cause they said I'd get paid

One thing's for sure, these dudes are weird mother***ers

So kick back and listen, watch 'em compliment each other My man Jorm' ***s all night

Call him Super Mario, cause he be laying the pipe

He got the eye contact like only you in the room

A modern-thinking man, he ain't afraid of a broom Yo, you talking feminism? Andy loves that ***

Plus the femme fatales love him cause he's got good dick

And he's a giver: donates hella money to charity

He's also got a great sense of humor that's personality I hate to interrupt, but I gotta interject

'Kiv grinds his own espresso, has his own panini press 'Kiv! So loyal when he makes his pick

That he'll only think of you when he's jacking his dick He's a shoulder to cry on when you're down in the dumps

He's an outfit to try on when you need a slam dunk

He's an extra stirring hand when you're making a soup

Take a ride in his coupe, he makes you wanna shoop I'm starting to suspect that these dudes are gay

It's none of my business, they just born this way

I mean, how many times you gon' mention your homie's dick

But still try to act like this song is for chicks?

So ladies be warned before you hop under the covers

They might be ***ing you but they'll be thinking 'bout each other

The compliments, bitch!