I got back in town a day before I'd planned toI smiled and said I'll sure surprise my wifeI don't think I'll phone, I'll just head on homeCause I didn't know the cold hard facts of lifeI passed a little wine store on the cornerI pictured pink champagne by candlelightI stopped the car right then, got out and hurried inMy mind not on the cold hard facts of lifeA stranger stood there laughing by the counterHe said I'll take two bottles of your bestHer husband's out of town and there's a partyHe winked as if to say you know the restI left the store two steps behind the strangerFrom there to my house his car stayed insideBut it wasn't till he turned into my drive that I learnedI was witnessing the cold hard facts of lifeI drove around the block till I was dizzyEach time the noise came louder from withinAnd then I saw our bottle there beside meAnd I drank a bit of courage and walked inLord, you should have seen their frantic facesThey screamed and cried, please put away that knifeI guess I'll go to hell or I'll rot here in this cellBut who taught who the cold hard facts of lifeWho taught who the cold hard facts of life