There's a cowboy whose name was Big Jesse
On his head was a big prairie hat
And a big prairie hat's what they called him
Or something that sounded like that
He rolled down the trail on a gas stove
Because he liked riding the rain
He was known as an ornery cowpoke
Till one poked him back for a change
It tossed him high up on a cactus
One of them with the pointiest thorn
Then he slid down a branch with no pants on
And that's how the goat was born
Yodelling, oh, yodelling, oh, yodelling
Are you all right?
Yeah, I was yodelling.
I thought you had your leg trapped.
I thought you were having a seizure.
I thought he was having a stroke.
Don't worry, he's always having one of those.
Bastards.
I didn't notice his hand in his pocket.
Yeah, he's worn the fingerprints right off his right hand.
Tossers.
Oi, this is the sound engineer.
Can we get on with it?
Right, stand by, partners.
Here comes verse four.
He was hairy and leery and scary
Just an outlaw, a fierce buckaroo
But the Parsi all called him a pussy
And the Itchins had reservations too
In a showdown he faced Wild Bill Ishycock
Who was itching to fill him with lead
When he'd whipped
Out his weapon
Poor Jesse
Lay dying
And here's what he said
Oh, bury me out on the prairie
And send my regards to my mum
Tell her soon, neath the sod
I'll be lying
While the prairie dogs nest up my bum
Pour whiskey each day
On my grave, boys
For I sure have a terrible thirst
So they splashed out on pints of Jack Daniels
But they passed it through their kidneys first
And his ghost rides the trail in the moonlight
But the cowboys don't think much of that
Cos whenever they think of Big Jesse
They remember me
And they remember that big prairie hat
Big prairie hat
What a *!
That's excellent, as he stands
That's fine
Okay, lovely