Now friends, some little man with a big brainstormHad a mind for business the day he was bornTrading stamps was this cat's creationAnd man has he got them in our circulationNow my wife was a-looking through a stamp catalogAnd she said, 49 books, so get a poodle dogShe said, some else man that made me hollerShe says, three more books and we can get him a collarNow my next door neighbors are all filled with joyThey done saved up stamps and got him a boyMy wife says, honey, we need us a sonSo now she's saving stamps, gonna get us oneI come home at night and I kick off my shoesI turn on the TV there to try to get the newsMy wife comes in with that pitiful lookHoney, lick these stamps please and stick them in the bookWell I got sick and we called the docHe says, I'll be right over boy and see what you gotI stuck out my tongue and he said, no, you can't get out of bedHe says, my lad, I don't know what it is, but it's a mighty bad.Well, he said, raise your tongue for your temperature, but I almost pulled my little tongue in two.He stuck in a finger there and he pulled it out.There was three or four stamps in the roof of my mouth.Now, folks, when I'm gone and this may be soon, so place a book of stamps, please, for my tomb.Let my epitaph read, here lies a champ, the greatest man to ever lick a stamp.