You've heard of several kinds of cat and my opinion now is that you should need no interpreter to understand our character. You've learnt enough to take the view. The cats are very much like you. You've seen us both at work and games and learnt about our proper names, our habits and our habitat. But how would you address a cat? So first your memory I'll jog and say a cat is not a dog. So first your memory I'll jog and say a cat is not a dog. Some say one rule is true. Don't speak till you are spoken to. Myself I do not hold with that. I say you should address a cat but always bear in mind that he resents familiarity. You bow and taking off your hat address him in this form, oh cat. Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend. Some little token of esteem is needed like a dish of cream or you might now and then supply some caviar or Strasbourg pie, some potted grouse or salmon paste. He's sure to have his personal taste and so in time you'll reach your aim and call him by And that is that. And that's how you address a cat.