here if you want to get in trouble let me tell you how to do it get yourself a guitar and then you're writing to it you play all day and you play all night your people say you'll never learn to play the thing right always messing about groaning at you moaning won't let you practice so i bought myself a guitar about a year ago the man said i could learn it in a week or so gave me a little book picker two said hey mate it's up to you dirty rotter cost me 10 *** all the loot i had good guitar though called it a plucket anyway spent me dough i couldn't let it all go to waste you know so i took the book guitar and all i went back home where the trees are tall down in woodford good place to be if you've got a guitar pretty rotten if you ain't well for weeks and weeks i've worked hard and i've tried to learn a few main chords the book says they're easy as abc but cool my fingers is killing me got sore on the ends couldn't hold the strings down wanted to pack up core felt rough anyway kept on playing with all me might i could see mum's ear was turning white and her face was lined with discontent she said her patience was pretty near spent she was nervous ears ringing wanting to scream you know couldn't get no relief so sister anyway she took it worst of all because she got married the following fall she said for love but i got me doubts i think the guitar chased her out she's a game girl though just couldn't take it you know limit to everything dad he took it a different way he said you can turn your mum's ear gray drive your sister away from home but you or me boy is gonna start to roam and i ain't going never intend to you figure it out so i did fast you know anyway next day i had me clothes all packed and i swung the guitar across me back caught myself a great long train searched the world for me share of fame ain't found none just our chips messing about skiffle tommy steel