DJ, hit it.
I saw a penis so small
It made my whole weekend just * awful
I saw a penis so small
It made me start to question
Why I have *** with penises at all
I was sitting in McDonald's
Minding my own business
Eating my lunch
When I reached for a fry
It was my favorite fry
The tiny little crunchy guy
The little fry that they cook too long
So it's hard on the outside fry
We all know it, right?
I tossed it in my mouth
Then I remembered that penis
And I started to cry
I'm not a bitch, I understand
You have no control
Over the size of your dick
But you can control this
You could not sit there stroking it
While it's not getting hard
Then say, oh my god, this is crazy
This never happens to me
Don't lie to me
Don't lie to me

Don't lie to yourself
This is what always happens
This is exclusively what happens
I guess I didn't help by looking at it
And saying, oh, cute
I should have been more empathetic
To your dick
But when I saw your penis
Was so small
I understood why you spent
48 minutes eating my taco
My favorite part about doing that song
Is watching which men turn off their flashlights
As soon as they hear what the song is about
As soon as they hear what the song is about