Snow
started right after midnight,
soft and thick and merciless
Covering the porch boards where I was gonna drop down on one knee
I had the ring in my coat,
pocket for six straight weeks
Waiting for this exact night,
waiting for her to say yes to me
Now the flakes just keep coming,
like the sky's trying to bury the plan
So I *** the shovel from the shed,
try to stay a steady man
Streets asleep,
no headlights,
no witnesses,
just me and the scrape of metal wood
I'm shoveling at 2am so tomorrow no one sees The
tracks of where I fell apart out here on my knees
Pushing white lights in the piles,
pretending I'm just clearing the way
Wordly I'm moving the snow so it don't
land on the spot she was supposed to stay
Every scrape is a prayer nobody hears,
every breath hangs frozen with tears
I'm shoveling at 2am so the morning can't tell I broke
The porch light flickers like it knows the script got torn in half
I keep thinking I hear footsteps crunching up the path
But it's only the wind,
or maybe my heart playing tricks again
I shovel faster,
harder like exhaustion might fix a man
The ring box is still in my pocket,
heavier than this load of snow
Cutting through the line and reminding me what I'll never get to show
If the neighbors wake up and look out,
they'll just see a guy doing his chore They
won't see the future dying underneath this floor
I'm shoveling at 2am so tomorrow no one sees How
deep the hurt goes when love decides to leave
I clear the steps we would've climbed together hand in hand brand new
Now I'm just making sure there's nothing left that looks like us two
Every scrape is a goodbye I can't say out loud
Every pile is a promise turning into a shroud
I'm shoveling at 2am so the daylight don't see me crack
When the walk is finally clean I stand there,
chest burning cold
Shovel handle frozen to my palms,
ring burning a hole
I could toss it in the drips,
let the spring thaw,
take it away
But I'm not there yet,
maybe next storm,
maybe someday
I'm shoveling at 2am,
one more time before the dawn
By the time the sun comes up the evidence will all be gone
No footprints,
no ring mark,
no trace of the man who cried
Just smooth white silence where a lifetime almost came alive
I lean the shovel on the rail,
walk inside and lock the door Snow starts falling again
I won't fight it anymore
Let it cover the porch,
let it cover the plant Let it cover
the man who still can't understand