She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars, a quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins.Can't get enough, eats till she's stuck, goes to the bathroom then she comes back again.She thinks she looks just like Madonna when she runs her greasy fingers through her bleach blonde hair.Most times she'll place another order and lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair.She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles, eating me out of house and home.Her booty size, well it ought to be illegal, she has a hard time sitting on the throne.Hamburgers, hot dogs, cheese fries and coleslaw, a dozen bear claws, yum yum yum.Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks, takes up both seats in a tow seater car.Her doctor said lay off the bread but he didn't say nothing about a Snickers bar.She drinks sweet milk by the gallon and she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine.Then she'll lay spread out on the hammock after she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen.She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles, folks make fun cause she's overgrown.Her rump's shaped like a Volkswagen Beetle, she gives new meaning to the words big bone.Bagels and cream cheese, vanilla ice cream, a tub of whipped cream, yum yum yum.No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame, down at Jenny Craig's.When she cleans them out at the Waffle House, they'll bring in more ham and eggs.She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles, her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs.It's wide enough to play linebacker for the Eagles, Beyonce Sanders better leave her alone.Try chicken that's baked or a fat free milkshake, enough for God's sakes, stop the insanity.Weight Watchers, yeah. Weight Watchers, yeah.Yeah I watched her weight, I watched it go from 117 and a quarter when I married her to 317 and a half, two and a half years later.But I still love you honey.