I'm definitely, like, a textbook middle child.
I knew I was a middle child.
I knew the first time I watched The Lion King, right?
Because I found myself sympathizing with Scar, you know?
I was like, he's not a bad guy.
Mufasa's just a cocky motherfucker.
I'd push him, too.
I have hot sisters.
I think that's probably why.
I have smoking hot babes.
Give it up for my smoking hot babe sisters.
Conventionally hot sisters.
My older sister, she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow, okay?
We all know this type of white woman, right?
She looks like she would put her pussy scent in a candle
and sell it on the internet.
And then my younger sister, she looks like Cameron Diaz, right?
Like, she has hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers.
Every picture is, like, her perfectly bikini bottom
in front of a different cityscape.
Like, sir, she's so hot, if she crashed your car,
you'd pay for it, you know?
And...
Honestly, I'm the hottest one, okay?
At every gas station.
In America, thank you.
I'm killing it at the pump!
Uh, I...