Saturday night in Toledo, Ohio is like being nowhere at all

All through the day how the hours rush by

You sit in the park and you watch the grass die!

Ah, but after the sunset, the dusk and the twilight

When shadows of night start to fall

They roll back the sidewalk precisely at ten

And people who live there are not seen again!

Just two lonely truckers from Great Falls, Montana

And a salesman from places unknown (-ces unknown)

All huddled together in downtown Toledo

To spend their big night all alone! You ask how I know of Toledo, Ohio? Well I spent a week there one day

They've got entertainment to dazzle your eyes

Go visit the bakery and watch the buns rise!

Ah, but let's not forget that the folks of Toledo

Unselfishly gave us the scale

No springs, honest weight, that's the promise they made

So smile and be thankful next time you get weighed!

And "wiv and wet wiv", let this be our motto

Let's let the sleeping dogs lie (-ping dogs lie)

And here's to the dogs of Toledo, Ohio

Ladies, we bid you goodbye!