You know, nobody has any more fun at a fair than the youngsters do.
And I see we sure have a lot of them gathered around,
so we're going to do one of our old nursery rhyme tunes,
just especially for you kiddos.
Once upon a time in a nursery rhyme
Three little men got lost
Like you and me, they couldn't agree
And upon the waves they tossed
Well, I sing the tune
Cause I got marooned with a love I can't forget
Now the three little men just took me in
On an ocean of regret
With the rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub
Lost on the ocean blue
I'll roll like a hook
Sing rub-a-dub-dub
Cause you broke my heart in two
Well, my heart is sore
And I can't reach shore
And I'm drifting far away
From the love I had
And I'm feeling mighty bad
And I can't go on this way
Won't you throw out the line
And say you're mine
And take me back again
Cause my rudder's broke
And it ain't no joke
Won't you reach and pull me in
With the rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub
Lost on the ocean blue
I'll roll like a hook
Sing rub-a-dub-dub
Cause you broke my heart in two
My heart in two
Well, I knew right away
There'd never come a day
When I'd reach land again
The one-eyed door
On the distant shore
Is now out the rainbow's end
To the three little guys
I turned my eyes
Won't you tell your names to me
One said fate
One said hate
And the other said hate
And the other said jealousy
With the rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub
Lost on the ocean blue
I'll roll like a hook
Sing rub-a-dub-dub
Cause you broke my heart in two
Well, thank you.
Thanks a lot, folks.
By golly, looks like
we finished just in time.
Cause here comes
that big parade
of marching bands.
Let's join them
as they circle the fairgrounds
and we'll stop off
over the sideshows.
Hell yeah!
Oh my god.
I shouldn't be yourself.






Boy, look at this crowd. It's one of those days when there's over a quarter of a million people on hand.
Well, here we are at the sideshow, so let's step over to the first tent and see what's going on.
What's going on in there now?
If you look through this wide doorway, you can see an interested audience in there.
They're spellbound and amazing.
Strangest living animals in the world are here.
I have a calf in there with two heads on one body.
Horses are so small you can carry them out of your arms.
The stall weighs 250 pounds a lot.
The men stay as long as you want.
Very interesting, but let's see what's going on over here.
A rather eerie thought, but it is a good start again.
This year the show is new, as new as tomorrow's sunshine.
We give you girls, singers, tap dancers, twisters and the rock and rollers,
and giving you the fabulous limbo dancers.
Say, now, this looks even more interesting.
Well, you know, it's gonna be three in one of the girls.
Ow!
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Yes, sir.
Ah, yes, dude.
I don't know about you folks, but for me, a girly show beats an animal show any time.
But, if you insist, we'll move on down to the next one.
...three or four, but 14 of the greatest acts ever presented under canvas in the red, here, and alive.
Showtime is now.
This is where you see...
Seal on the seal, boy.
A real Ripley, believe it or not, oddity.
The penguin girl is in here.
And that living doll looks just like a real penguin.
She's inside and alive.
And you'll see the tattooed man in here.
Tattooed from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.
The ventriloquist is here.
And the Siamese twins are the extra added attraction for this week only, the octopus man.
Not one, two, three, or four, but 14 of the greatest acts ever assembled under canvas.
They're in here and alive.
That's what they're looking at in there right now.
We have two of the world's fastest cashiers here to wait on you.