I, uh, we were dating for too long in my opinion, but I, but I do know the exact moment that I knew
he was going to propose and it's a little unorthodox. So we were on vacation with some
friends. We're about six years into dating at this point. And I put on this little bikini.
We're going to go meet some friends down by the pool. And, uh, before I left the hotel room,
he was like, babe, come back here. And I was like, Oh my God, after all this time,
he can't keep his hands off me. That's so nice. That's so sweet. Wow. And then he said,
I said, your * hairs.
They're peeking out the side of your bikini.
And so I said, okay, well, you know, we have people waiting for us. Let me do,
let me shave them real quick. And he said, no, no, no, it's going to take you too long. Let me do it.
Okay. And then I bent over and he shaved the visible *.
Which I think is love. Thank you. It's peak intimacy. It really is.
And when my friends like, thank you. Thank you.
And when we finally got engaged, my friends were like, what changed? Did you finally do anal? I
was like, sort of. Yeah. That's also the same trip. I found out I was lactose intolerant.
It was a very sexy trip. You guys, it really was.
I was in a hot tub. I was in a hot tub. I was in a hot tub. I was in a hot tub. I was in a hot tub.
I was in a hot tub. And there was a sign above the hot tub that said, if you've had diarrhea in the
past 14 days, you're not allowed in the hot tub. Okay. And I turned to him, I was like, oh, you see
the sign? He was like, oh yeah, whatever. And I was like, I know, right? Who hasn't had diarrhea
in the past 14 days? It's like, I think, I think most people, if I had to guess, I think this is
an issue for you. You should see someone about. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I got my IUD taken out recently. That was fun. Yeah. Good times. I, uh, I loved
my gynecologist. She was awesome. Okay. She was the best. She laughed at all my jokes. I don't
even know if she was a doctor. It's completely irrelevant. Uh, but she was, she was a blessing.
She was such a saint, but she asked me, she was like, what's your plan? Do you want to just like
regulate your hormones? You're trying to get pregnant right away. And I was like, ideally,
I'd like to stay not pregnant for another year. That's my goal. And she was like, well, obviously
I'm going to tell you, you need to get your husband pregnant. I'm going to tell you, you need to get your husband pregnant.
I said, condoms with a grown man. I'm not getting a divorce over this. Like,
do you have any other suggestions? And so I was like, all right, if I'm going to actually get
this man, this man, my husband, this random man to wear condoms, it's going to have to be something
that he thinks is his idea. Do you understand? So I was like, okay, babe, how about tonight?
We role play.
I am anyone else.
And I have AIDS.
He was like, you had me at anyone else. I'm rock hard. Are you kidding me?
Holy *. That's my biggest fantasy.
I hope that ages well, internet.