[Verse 1: Tom Cardy]
The date started off so well
Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life
She was perfect from what I could tell
How could I not see the danger right in front of me?

[Pre-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
My favorite food is fish
Baby, that's my favorite too
I love cartoon dogs
Baby, I love Scooby Doo
Hey girl, what's your favorite film?
She said, the best movie of all
A masterpiece of art called

[Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
Human Centipede
Human Centipede
I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight
Human Centipede
Not ironically
She said, "The costume design was a highlight"
I like it for the plot
Tell me what the plot's about
German doctor sews three people
Ass to mouth
Cool!
Human Centipede
Please god save me
I think that's a red flag
I don't want to get stabbed

[Verse 2: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
She said, "Human Centipede is a tour de force"
I think, "Holy *** I'm gonna be the main course"
She said, "I admire the narrative of character growth"
I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

[Verse 3: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
Why are you blinking so much?
I've got something in my eye
Here, let me get it out
No thank you, I don't wanna die
Bonjour, sir was blinking at me
Is this because your date is a freak?
No
Very good then, bon appétit

[Bridge: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag
To not take a chance on the best relationship you never had
Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses
My heart's got bruises but I'm ready to choose this love

[Pre-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
You could be my world, the love of my life
One day we'll get married and be husband and wife
With a tasteful ceremony, and the wedding of our dreams
Only if the wedding is themed
Tell me what the theme's gonna be!

[Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
Human Centipede
Human Centipede
That way we could save on the catering bill
Human Centipede
Only one mouth to feed
If you are the best man
You know the deal (Pucker up)

[Post-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
I can finally open myself up to love
I can finally sew a mouth to a butt

[Outro: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]
Human Centipede
Human Centipede