cool i watch a lot of reality tv i always have uh i come from a very waspy background
so when i was watching reality tv when i was growing up i dead ass i thought that everyone
on those shows was an orphan i really did i seriously i'm not even kidding i really thought
that okay because i was like there is no way that these people are going on national tv having ***
in a hot tub and then showing their face at thanksgiving like there's i do not buy it also
there's no way they haven't had diarrhea in the past 14 days okay
no one's doing that right no one's making it 14 days that's crazy
but like the first time i saw the bachelor i was like wow where'd they find so many ***y orphans
how did i thought there was a casting director going around to orphanages being like you you
not you you you you get in the
you you you get in the bathroom
like you're bringing this to our families no we will exploit you
that's what i thought was going on on national television i swear to god
yeah i love my family though
thank you i uh i love my family i have an older sister it's a beautiful thing in life it's like
one of my biggest blessings in life to have someone to look up to and show me what plastic
surgery i'll need it's an eye lift turns out it's an eye lift um but
thank you but but like she does this thing where she'll call me and then project her own
insecurities onto me and i'm like what is this conversation okay like she called me the other
day and she was like i was looking into this procedure you might be interested in because
you know how like we you and i both of us equally have a double chin i was like i knew you did
the *
and she's like yeah that sucks that like summer's coming up because like we
both of us have fat arms i'm like what the *
i'm starting to think maybe we should talk less i don't know
that's an idea i wish i could do things like that with her accomplishments you know what
i mean where i'm just like wow it's so crazy that like we went to law school
good for us oh my god that's so amazing
yeah my sister and i are like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god
my sister had a baby in the beginning of quarantine which is like an interesting time
to have your first baby you know she was a little overwhelmed and she called me she was like oh
what's up like what are you doing i was like i'm gonna go walk around the city with some friends
*** a cocktail hang out i was like what are you doing and she was like
hanging out with my * baby
i guess
i was like oh that sounds like some baby blues i've ever heard i'm okay
so i was like okay i'm gonna be a good sister i'm gonna
go give her some support so i go up to boston that's where we're originally from and uh my mom
comes up to see me and see the baby and my mom goes over this little baby girl in a crib she's
like never done anything wrong in her life my mom stands over this crib and she just goes
oh you're very fat
yes you are you got big thick rolls this is the only time in your life that that looks good
remember that always remember that and i was like whoa mom you can't potty shame a baby
like you have to wait until she's 12 like everybody that's how most people do it is it not yeah